Today I’m starting a blog for men. Not just for any men, but for Christian men who desire to serve and glorify God by being what they were created to be – men. I intend my writings to be about true Biblical manliness, for true Biblical men (or at least those who want to become one some day).
We need to define what true, Biblical manhood is really all about. We need to paint a picture of what a real Man of God even looks like, since most of our society has forgotten or distorted God’s original image for men. We need to identify what manliness is not, to dispel and reject the myths, distortions, exaggerations, and lies we’re given in place of true manhood. We need to identify and combat the agendas, tactics, and efforts of many enemies who would marginalize, replace, or even destroy Godly men in our societies, churches, and families. And finally, we need to encourage men of all types to regain and embrace their true nature, to be real men, created in the image of God and designed specifically for a calling that only they are equipped for.
Why do we need this? Why is this so important to me?
Real men are disappearing
What once used to be a given in our world, as accepted and understood as gravity or the tides, is now under constant debate, confusion, and attack. That is, the concept of masculinity and the inherent value and need of it. In short, in most societies today (certainly in modern Western cultures), we are hard pressed to find many true men. We have feminized, emasculated “men” more concerned with being nice, keeping their wives happy at all costs, and not making waves or picking fights than being what they were really created to be. We also have exaggerations and distortions of genuine masculinity; the macho man, the insensitive jerk, the male chauvinist, and the sexist. Then there’s most of us in the middle, with some inherent lingering sense of being masculine, but feeling constant pressure to repress or eliminate that nature, to behave and fit in more as women, to embrace our sensitive side, to sit still, keep quiet, and play nice.
Certainly we have very few role models of real men today. Most so-called men we get to see on TV and in movies are either hen-pecked wimpy idiot husbands or cartoon exaggerations of all the ignorant and evil male traits we’re all supposed to eliminate. Gone are most balanced examples of quiet strength, confidence, competence, virtue, and wisdom. There aren’t enough solid examples of real men for our sons to emulate and follow or for our daughters to hold out for as a husband.
Real men are under attack
As men, every day we are surrounded by and bombarded with messages (some subtle, some not) to repress our masculine nature, embrace our inner feminine side, and stop acting like a bunch of animals. Most of us still have our competitive nature, instinctively want to somehow subdue and order the earth, and thinks it the right thing to do to help and protect our women and children, perhaps as our fathers or grandfathers did before us. But our societies tell us that these impulses are evil and ignorant, that we must fight to eliminate these antiquated and primitive urges, and become more like – well - women.
Real men need help
If you still want to be a real man, if you still feel God calling you to take a stand and be who you were created to be, if you still have moments when you think it’s OK to be a man, then you need help. But not psychiatric help, like society may be telling you. You need help in the form of affirmation, encouragement, and teaching. You need other men to lean on, fight next to, and even lead. You need to believe once again that it’s okay to be who you were made to be. If you have lost that belief, or had it beaten out of you, you may need even more help to recover what you’ve lost. Either way, you need other men, and you need God, to walk with you in your path back to your true Biblical identity as a man.
Why is this my personal passion? Why do I want to pour my life into this endeavor? Two words – loss and restoration. Through struggling and failing with my identity and purpose as a man, I have experienced great personal loss. But praise to God, I have also been restored as a man and given a new hope for the future. I’ll detail my personal journey at another time, but in short, after an exciting boyhood and youth, then a 17-year marriage, I eventually experienced an unwanted divorce, loss of my two sons to parental alienation, costly and lengthy legal battles, and great financial strains, in large part due to losing my way as a man. However, God has shown his unfailing love and mercy by giving me a renewed identity and purpose, the best wife a man could ask for, and even a wonderful step-daughter to help raise.
It’s my goal to take the personal tragedies I've endured, learn from them, and pass on my experience as a warning cry to other men so they don’t have to go through what I have. I also do this to praise God, my Redeemer, for his grace in my life and for the restored hope he has given me going forward again.
I can only humbly hope that my words, my personal experience through this journey, and my encouragement can help you in some way, no matter where you are today.